Is there one thing that you have been unable to achieve, the one goal that you have been haunted by year after year?
Here are some ways we can continue to fail to achieve that elusive goal:
Have a fuzzy picture of where you want to go
When we have a goal that we want to achieve yet fail to achieve time and time again often we can’t visualise how that change looks in our life – really, what would I look like 40 kilograms lighter? What would I look like and act like when I am a CEO? What do I look like with the career of my dreams?
To succeed, we need to get a vision of our ‘future state’ as clear as possible. Here are some ways we can do it:
Create a vision board / book
Clip pictures, Photoshop images, take any image you can and manipulate them to fit the exact image you see in your mind. Add to these images as your picture becomes clearer. Revisit your vision board as often as possible – if not daily, weekly. To experience the power or visualisation you should picture your goal first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
Imagine if you made a little A5 vision booklet that you carried with you that you could pull out at any time. Now that’s do-able!
Break it down
Goals can just seem so big and overwhelming. Losing 40 kilos or becoming a CEO can be achieved in small baby steps. Once you have broken that goal into smaller more achievable chunks, get a picture in your mind (or in your vision booklet) of what it would look like to achieve that smaller goal. Set to achieve that goal.
Write down and clarify your vision
Sometimes goals cannot be easily represented in pictures. Write down what you feel and see when you achieve your goal. Write as if you have achieved that goal. Write with emotion and colour. Continue writing for as long as you can. Keep that with you in your wallet and pull it out when you can and read it. Re-write it at intervals when you feel that you need to focus your vision some more.
Scatter your focus
When we neglect to focus on a goal it is just like we expect that it will happen regardless of how much or little effort we put into it.
Um, no – it doesn’t quite work that way! And we know it!
Achieving a goal takes effort and a tremendous amount of focus. If you are not focused and become tired on your quest you will fail.
Here are some ways to remain focused:
Plan, plan, plan. Plan for those times when you will be tired. Plan for how you can move through life when life wants to get in the way of your goals. If you do not plan, your good efforts can be derailed by little things.You loose your balance and fall away from your goal.
Review your vision
As mentioned earlier, frequent review of your vision board / booklet and your written vision can pay real dividends. Images are incredibly powerful and really do speak 1000 words.
Indulge in what gets you inspired
It might be music (Katy Perry’s song ‘Firework’ is a great one), videos, or walking on the beach. There are so many things which can inspire us to keep striving for our goals and refocusing us on what is important.
Lack of passion and desire to change is the biggest killer. If you have no desire to achieve your goal examine why you wanted to achieve it in the first place. Was it something that someone else wanted you to change? Has the goal changed?
Some ways you can get the desire and passion back:
Revisit the goal
You may simply need to redefine the goal and create a vision which is appropriate. Once we refine the goal and create an appropriate vision we may get renewed passion.
Turn it around
If you have to achieve a goal for negative reasons (such as if you don’t lose weight you will die) you have to connect the goal to something positive that you truly want. Turn it to the positive – negative, fear based motivators very rarely work. It might be hard work but put some effort into making it positive – write a list of all the reasons to achieve the goal – do that until you find a reason which resonates with your soul and brings tears to your eyes. Once you have that reason, create a vision and get it going.
Throw it away
Throw the goal away if it does not fit the vision that you see for yourself. This is not a bad thing – it frees you to pursue your true passion.
No reason for change
So if you don’t know why you should change, why should you change?
Sometimes we need to change but we don’t know why we should change. Why should I give up smoking when I enjoy it? We know we should give up smoking because it causes cancer, but hey, I might be one of the lucky ones…
You need to find your own compelling reason to change. I am an ex-smoker. It wasn’t cancer, strokes or any other of the revolting things that smoking does to your health that got me to give up smoking. It wasn’t the cost of cigarettes either. It was the smell of cigarettes on my body and clothes that I couldn’t bear. When I had my baby I didn’t want him to smell like smoke. I gave up cold turkey the day he was born – 5 years ago.
Again, I recommend here exploring the reason, the true reason to change. You really need to explore this: write, draw, talk – do absolutely everything you can to find that cracking reason to change!
Continue to not know how to change
Knowing how to change and not having the ability to change are different things. Knowing is the theory about how to do something, ability is the application of that knowledge. You need both to make a change.
Most people who look to lose weight know what they need to do – eat less, exercise more. But it is not that simple. You need to be able to apply that knowledge – How do you cook low-fat? How do you exercise to maximise results?
So how can we do that?
Seek the knowledge
Read, search the net, talk to others. More often that not you will be able to find information on how to learn that new language, become a tri-athelete, or master that software. Be like a sponge, soak up the information you need.
Find resources or people who can help you apply that knowledge
Sometimes this can be a little tough. Honestly I don’t know how we did it before we had the internet! Any one remember those days????!! Wow!
Use social media, put the message out there you will be surprise at who will step up to help you apply that knowledge you have researched. Use LinkedIn, twitter, YouTube just to name a couple!
Do it on your own
You are not alone. You don’t have to do this on your own. As I mentioned above there are so many people out there ready to help and want to be involved in your mission. They want to help you!
Having someone assist you on your journey can keep you focused, support and they can give you ways and methods for achieving your goals. Your life and successes should be shared. Experiences are so much better when experienced with another. Reach out.